Well it had to happen sooner or later, and my expectations of it happening probably aided its manifestation - I lose my wallet on the train to Varanasi, but no harm done except for a few hundred lost rupees and a bruised ego.
Am staying in a guest house close to the burning ghats of Manikarnika, where they cremate dead bodies 24/7. It was suggested by my Master I spend as much time there as possible, watching the dead until we can overcome my own fear of dying. The fear of death being the root cause of all fears, accept your own death and you conquer all fear. But frankly I am not too sure I will stay long in Varanasi as it is proving too overwhelming for me, even with 4 months of travelling experience in India under my belt.
The narrow streets in the old part of the city next to the ghats are convoluted and narrow.. too narrow for traffic, so its walking only. And many hundreds of meters of confusion and disorientation await the walking tourist here 8(. On top of that the cows here produce dung overtime, and the filth does not seem to get washed away. Many times I was literally wading in it.
And it is probably these prejudices that I am failing to overcoming that is stopping from my feeling the spirituality of the place. A friend of Masha's once reported that he had actually fell into the bliss state (you know, when you feel like you're high on marijuana) just by walking along the ghats. Pretty similar to what I felt in Master's presence, or during my 2nd trip to Tiruvannamalai, except without the meditation!
Paramasukadam, that's probably the best description of the emotion - "Happiness without cause".
This morning's boat trip along the Ganges was beautiful though.